8 Reasons Why Parenting Shouldn’t Look Easy
Parenting is Hard:
From a very young age I always dreamed of becoming a mother. In fact, I had a doll named Emily. I fed her three square meals a day, albeit created from paper food accompanied by plastic produce from the play room. Even more so, I earned an allowance and spent it on used baby clothes from the Children’s Exchange. Her face was cleaned and her hair was always brushed into a nice updo.
Indeed it was child’s play, but the nurturing seemed to spring from within. It wasn’t until the nurses placed my new babies in my arms that I understood the magnitude of parenthood. Barely able to walk by myself, my husband and I were sent out of the hospital. The cool breeze of the Rockies brought the sobering realization that we now had a new title: parents. These swaddled little people were ours. We made them, now we had to build and direct them from babies to thriving adults.
Parenting is Full of Highs and Lows:
Moreover, this startling and humbling reality is why parenting should not look easy. Parenting in and of itself is a privilege and an incredible journey of the human experience. It pushes you to the fullest capacity of joy you’ve ever known. And it also pushes you to endure challenges that make your head spin and your heart to ache. Parenting demands many things, here are just a few examples that explain this delicate opportunity.
Parenting Demands Your Time :
As a stay at home mom , I have learned that parenting requires time. As much as you may try to rush a season, the baby and toddler temperament won’t allow it. Moms often lose time for self care, house cleaning, or resemblance of a schedule. Because some days simply expire in a whirlwind of experiences and tantrums. A schedule comes eventually, but when first embarking upon life as a new parent, life feels unpredictable, chaotic even.
Parenting Asks for Wisdom :
Undoubtedly, every choice I make as a parent has a direct impact on my children. I find this especially true when it comes to handling the multifaceted behaviors that present themselves. My children are eighteen months apart, yet at times their behaviors are exactly the same. In those moments it is important to address the behaviors and redirect them in ways that benefit and strengthen my kids. The reason I handle behaviors is because I want to teach my children the concept of right and wrong. That can be a difficult task when running on fumes. This is an area where godly wisdom is paramount because I can’t do this on human strength alone.
Parenting is Trial and Error:
Without a doubt we parents succeed and fail multiple times in the succession of a day. But it is our job to reassess the areas where we fail and explore new approaches when handling difficult situations. Of course we must be patient with ourselves because we are students just as much as our children are.
Parenting Requires Humility :
As parents we should never be too proud to apologize to our children when we make mistakes. My daughter Rose is three years old and she is already beginning to understand the importance of grace and forgiveness. Truthfully, that requires humility but it is worth the priceless lessons that naturally comes from it. Obviously, we must share our weakness and vulnerabilities with our children. Even more so our unquestionable need for Jesus.
Parenting Tests Your Character:
Being a parent brings your character into question on an hourly basis. Conviction affords itself through many different scenarios. Prompting you to ask yourself “Did I handle that ok?” Your heart longs to do right by your children, and when you don’t quite get it right, it weighs heavily on you. Truth be told, I sometimes yell too much. Of course that is not my intention but it happens. I can’t take the action back, just as my toddler can’ un-hit someone. What matters is what I do about my choice and how I handle the situation differently next time.
Parenting Requires Selflessness :
We are naturally selfish people, there is a reason that children learn the word “mine” at a very young age. Your water bottle isn’t yours anymore and there is no such thing as privacy. It should be noted that I can’t remember the last time that I was able to go potty without an audience. I believe Jesus knew that parenting would require selflessness because he exercises that with us on a daily basis.
Parenting Requires Discipline :
In becoming a stay at home parent I realized early on that kids thrive on consistency. No matter how tired I was, they were ready to explore and engage in different activities. Definitely, one of the best things that I have done for us, is that I have fashioned a doable schedule and we use it consistently. They seem to be sleeping more soundly and are in better spirits because of it. It isn’t anything ornate but we wake, eat and play around the same time everyday, for us that helps us remain healthy and balanced. I recommend this simple day planner for weekly schedules.
Parenting Requires Patience :
Ironically, my name is Patience and it is a virtue I use frequently. Especially, when I have repeated myself one hundred times. Becoming more patient has helped me become a better parent. Nothing happens quickly in our house, the act of putting on shoes can take a solid ten minutes, and you know what? That’s okay!
Parenting Requires Flexibility :
Not only does parenting require patience, it requires flexibility. As aforementioned, a schedule and consistency is very important. At the same time, you must allow room for things to happen organically. Sometimes, my kiddos have a plan for the day unbeknownst to me, but when room is given beautiful things take shape. Rose especially likes to share what she would like to do, and if it’s within reason we do it. Some of my favorite moments have come from those days. Kids exercising healthy independence is a good thing. And who doesn’t enjoy ice cream for lunch?
Parenting Requires a Your Best Effort:
As I discussed this post with my husband he said “ parenting isn’t a mystery. It certainly isn’t easy, but The Bible is the best tool to direct us.” He is right, with a willing heart, and God’s direction, parenting can become less of a challenge. We have only been at this for three years but Rose and Alastair have challenged and strengthened us in ways we have never dreamed of. The honey has become sweeter and the bee stings have taught us many valuable lessons. May you be blessed in your journey of parenthood as well.
-Patience
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