Important Life Lessons to Teach Your Children
My mum died of cancer ten years ago today. Instead of being sad, I wanted to celebrate the incredible woman she was. She lived a life worth remembering. This post, and this blog in its entirety is dedicated to my mum Marie Shouse. Thank you for helping me become the mom and person I am today. Without you, I would have been an empty vessel without direction or purpose.
The Power in Staying
My mum wasn’t a superhero, though at times I do have to remind myself she was a mere mortal. But her super power was her choice, her choice to be a single parent. But even more so, it was her choice to stay, and she did so until Jesus commanded her otherwise. And with that choice she made a conscious effort to be the best mum possible. She taught my siblings and I many priceless life lessons. Which in turn have become the cornerstones upon which we stand. She left a legacy that continues in us, and in our children. These are the nine most valuable things our mum taught us.
Put God First In All Things:
Mum made it very clear from an early age that life without God was pointless. She relied heavily on his grace and in turn offered grace without hesitation, to those around her. Every moment was an opportunity to draw us closer to the love of Christ and to live life with Him.
Forgive and Forgive Again
I was always amazed that my mum was able to forgive those who had hurt her the most, including my dad. Yet, each summer she asked us to visit him and practice forgiveness over and over again. Forgiveness was an ongoing theme in our home, with our friends, and anyone around us. We were taught the gift of the cross: forgive as He forgave you.
Be a Gracious Loser
Growing up my sisters and I competed in pageants. Not only were we learning poise and self confidence but we were learning how to be true to ourselves. At the close of each competition, win, or lose my mum always wrote me a handwritten letter. Within it she told me how proud of me she was no matter the outcome. There were more losses than wins, and it is easier to be a gracious winner. I learned very quickly how to be a gracious loser, the expectation was to genuinely congratulate the winner. With each loss my character was being challenged and refined.
If You See A Need, Fill It
One Sunday when we were at church a homeless man came into the building. He had been taken by drink and his presence made some feel uneasy. Without fear or a moment’s hesitation my mum accessed the needs he had and what in her capacity she could fill. While others stood motionless. She, in one grateful movement, overturned her purse and offered what little money she had. Moments later her tiny cardigan was draped over the man’s hunched shoulders. He was no longer unseen. It was the Gospels fleshed out and in service to the man. What a powerful encounter for a ten year old to witness, one I have not forgotten in twenty two years.
Love Without Condition
My mum had an affinity for handwritten letters, and she always signed mine With All My Heart and Soul. Because that is in fact how she loved, with her entire being. I could let her down in horrendous ways, but her love was constant despite me. Love was my mum’s language, from the homeless man at the bus stop, to each of us. She loved way beyond the limits of her tiny frame. She understood Christ’s love for her and she let it flow through her onto others.
Listen, People Want to Share
Mum had a way of creating a safe environment in which it was easy to share anything . She had a way of being able to read a person while giving them an opportunity to share what they needed. My mum ran a daycare in our home, I watched new parents cry in my mums’ arms, the reservations, fears and struggles seeped out into that space. Their loads were lightened .They left feeling heard and seen, and confident in who would be caring for their child. Moreover, I never feared telling my mum anything because she had created this space, to be, to laugh in, to cry in. It was home to me, it was mum to me and to so many others. I carried this same idea into my classroom and it made me a more loving teacher.
Be an Adventurer
My mum never pushed us to do things. However, she did make suggestions in the form of pillow whispers. When she believed we would be good at something,she would put a note on our pillow. Food for thought so to speak. It was a pillow whisper that led me to study Biblical Archeology in Italy. It was a pillow whisper that encouraged me to audition for our local arts High School. The whispers and experiences were endless. Fear wasn’t an option, only a sense of adventure that would encourage us to trust God alone.
With All My Heart and Soul
For more on parenting check out this post entitled: Parenting with Grace right here on Bee Stings and Honey.
Remember when the bee stings, find the honey.
-Patience
2 Comments
Barb Butler
Such a loving tribute. I wish I’d had an opportunity to have met your mother. I am sure she would have left thoughts for me to ponder and I would have learned a few things from her. ❤️
Patience
I am lucky to have such a lovely mother-in law. Mum would have loved you just as much as I do.