Grace in Parenting
Grace in Unexpected Places:
“ Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s the fairest one of all?” (Walt Disney Productions, 1937) Many of us remember this phrase from the iconic Disney movie Snow White. What the evil queen didn’t realize is that she was so obsessed with her own reflection that she forgot to stop and ponder what Snow White and the members of her kingdom perceived. Her power and beauty would have been found in those around her, not in the mirror that only considered her face value beauty.
Ungraceful Parenting Reflected:
Undoubtedly, I saw this analogy unfold in my own life recently… We often find it cute or endearing when our kids display behavior that we ourselves do. It’s the positive characteristics that we choose to highlight by saying “oh you get that from your mama,” or “that definitely is your father.” My son Alastair shakes his booty like me, at the beat of a song he is up, making his way to the proverbial dance floor. All while brandishing a charming smile and cool head bob. Rose is independent like her father and is really good at observing how things work with precise attention to detail. She has a pensive beauty and air about herself when she achieves a task correctly. When I announce that it’s lunchtime, Rose races to the kitchen to collect all the items needed for lunch. By the time I arrive all the items are neatly laid upon the countertop complete with the butter knife and plates. “I can do it all by by myself!” is a frequent exclamation I hear from her.
Yelling, Not My Finest Moment:
Although, I love these little glimpses of my husband and I. The reflections that are most humbling are the ones that pain me to the core. It’s the resurfacing of the character defects we all have and try to fix to no avail. Lately, I have been struggling with anger, and I am not quite sure why. This particular defect seems to have come on the scene sometime after pregnancy. In all transparency I yell too much and my kids are here to witness it. I am certainly not proud of this and it is something I am trying to surrender in prayer and work through.
One afternoon, Rose was upset with me because I told her she couldn’t have any more coffee cake so close to dinnertime. Now I get her request because the cake is a household favorite and it is delicious. At that moment her little angelic face scrunched up, she raised her shoulder to the level of her ears and balled her fists. Then with all of the energy and frustration she had in her tiny body she yelled at me “I WANT COFFEE CAKE NOW!!!!” It was a perfect carbon copy print of the behavior I have been modeling to her in the past couple of months. This by far was a momentous bee sting,it stung, the mirrored reflection pained my very soul. I certainly was not the fairest of them all, but the worst.
There is Grace For Us Too:
Furthermore, this interaction really challenged my behavior and how I conduct myself as a stay at home mom. I am not just their mom, but a reflection of Jesus, their teacher, their mentor and their guide in this life. The “mirrors” around you and what they reflect say a lot about how you are living your life. I hope to learn and grow from this situation exponentially.
Furthermore, I hope to show Rose and Alastair how to handle life’s curveballs and imperfections with grace and surrender to Jesus. At the end of the day the goal is not to present my children with a false view of perfection. I am a flawed mama in desperate need of grace, and forgiveness, simple as that. In doing this I will be proud of the little mirrors in my world and the reflections I see
In closing, The Well Watered Women by Gretchen Saffles really speaks to the heart of grace in parenting. Her words will refresh your soul and encourage you in your journey as a mama. It is so important that you nurture and feed you soul mama.
-Patience
2 Comments
Carrie
Thanks for your incredible honesty. None of us are perfect, but the reflections I’ve seen time and again in your precious two little mirrors are joy and nurturing. And you should share your coffee cake recipe on here, it is definitely blog-worthy ; )
Patience
Thank you for taking the time to walk this journey with me. They are pretty awesome, despite me sometimes. I will share the coffee cake recipe here soon, good idea!